"The Price": by jwg

[Posted on QSMB Aug 29, 2010.]

Not to long ago I stood alone and cold
Unwanted by society
Banished to exile,, sentence to life
The price I paid to be a smoker

Alone in the winter out side to get a fix
No porch lights are on to the welcome the
Smoker in for a from the weather

I had no place to call home or my very
Own to sit and smoke my life away
As I saw fit,, it was my life..
I stood alone in my fight to be excepted

All the welcome mats I came too
Said
“everyone but You! “
I stood alone, ringing the bell
Never to find the door open
The price I paid to be a smoker

No one could hear a word I said
I stood alone a million miles away
Trapped in nineteen eighty five
Where I fit in and smoking was still cool
I was just a ghost

Knowing it was time I moved on
To join the world of the living

When finally the night came
if frightened me
And I was afraid to quit

Not fear, of failure frightened me
more fear of success
And never to have the one next me
That comforted me in all the weather
And stood alone with me out side your homes
And shopping malls
Under the awnings, dodging the rain


I had to be brave and say good by to a dear old friend
On a gamble that life was better
in the year In witch the rest of the world lives

I did not bury my lover, that night
I only said ,, goodbye…I will think of you
I will return, if ever I need you to hold my hand


But now I find
There is peace in the night
There is warmth in living inside
I am no longer afraid of success

new doors open each day

I still stand alone, But I am not lonely
For the first time that I can remember
In a long long time

I feel good
No longer unwanted
Just unknown

But now all the mats
Say
“welcome”